You Are One Pathetic Loser!--No Offense
Like an idiot I put off the vast majority of my Christmas shopping until about two hours ago and then attempted to cram it all in to one lunch hour. Yeah, real smart that.
I thought of the Simpsons episode where Homer waits until the last minute to do his taxes and has to drive it to the post office downtown. There's a long line of people waiting to drop off their taxes, including Krusty the Clown. A reporter approaches the line and asks "Sir, why did you wait so long to do your taxes?" and Krusty erupts "Because I'm a freakin' idiot, okay?"
The scene at the mall was what you would expect at this late hour. Hardly any women around, just a bunch of frantic dudes like me who were scrambling for any damn thing to fill out their lists. Buying for the Elder is easy. I just think of something I want, then buy the cheapest version of that thing that I can find. The Old Man is a little more difficult, but a quick trip to Sears usually takes care of matters there. My Ma, now that is a challenge. After giving her a calendar for six years straight, I knew I had to come through so let's just hope she knows what aromatherapy is.
If the stores were smart, they would suspend all sales during these last few shopping days. Men are so desperate for something, anything at this point that we are willing to pay top dollar just to get it over with. 58 bucks for this scarfey thing? What the hell? $134 for a sweater with a wolf on it? Sounds good. $452 for this Danish Maple jewelry box? Ring it up!
We're bad shoppers. We admit it. We don't care. I'm just surprised someone isn't taking advantage of us.
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