Strap On The Mailbag

Sean writes to ask us to pimp his new book Real Men Listen to Rush. Consider it pimped.

Cindy writes to take a shot at Hugh and make us aware of Any Soldier, a site that offers opportunities to show your support for military personnel serving overseas. Two very noble causes indeed.

i would normally had sent this to da kommissar, but as his age now requires extended periods of time to convalesce from the rigors of talking into a mic; the email is being sent to you...

Let's not be too hard on Hugh there Cindy. It's been what, at least two weeks since he took a day off? He deserves a break.

Tim could relate to my observation that only fools talk loud:

I can top your question about why is it that the loudest people on a plane are also the most boring, and are usually sitting near you. Why is it that the loudest people on a plane also happen to be the most obnoxious, AND why is it that when you are on a chartered vacation, this loud, obnoxious person (LOP) will cross your path during your vacation seemingly at every turn?

My wife and I went to Cozumel a couple years ago, and sure enough, I spotted the LOP at the curb of the terminal. I had to put up with her while in line waiting to be checked in, then at the gate, and then, lo and behold, LOP was seated just two rows behind me. Of course LOP started drinking as soon as the bar cart came out; LOP walked up to were the attendants were serving the other passengers, and requested that she be served now. With drink in hand, LOP returned to her seat and finished it just in time for the attendants to arrive and serve her another.

After a couple drinks, LOP pretty much let the back half of the plane know she had to go to the bathroom. After landing, LOP stood behind me while we waited to get to the Customs counter, probably so I could continue to enjoy her witty banter. While waiting to get through Customs, my greatest fear was realized; LOP was staying at the same resort we were. My most fortunate moment of this trip happened when LOP failed to get on the same shuttle to the resort because she had to make another potty stop in the terminal.

We made our dinner reservations for the resort restaurants as soon as we were done checking in. What are the odds that we would be dining in the same restaurants at the same time as LOP? Would you believe even money?

A couple days later, we booked a half-day snorkel trip. My neighbors decided to come with us, and I give my neighbor a lot of credit because he doesn't swim, but after paddling around off of the shore of the resort with a life jacket, he said he was up for it. Well, the morning we were to go out, we were standing on the dock waiting for the snorkel boat to pick us up, and who begins to waddle down the dock? The LOP. We get on the boat, and while waiting for others to get down to the dock, the LOP announces that she has to go to the bathroom, and asks the snorkel tour operators where is the bathroom on the boat. He shows her and a few minutes later we head off for our trip. The first stop was pretty wavy, so my neighbors decided to just watch through the glass bottom of the boat.

The LOP had helped herself to a couple beers on the way, and said she was a little too buzzed to go in the water this time. At our next stop on the reef, my neighbor pulled me aside and said he couldn't be on the boat another minute with that woman. He'd rather drown, so he said he would take his chances in the water.

Luckily, we didn't have to put up with LOP as she booked a seven day trip and we only booked five days, so we were able to get home in relative peace and quiet.

He ain't down with LOPs. And neither is Tom:

Couldn't agree more. I fly a bit. Usually, I scope out the waiting area (or pre-boarding as they say in the industry) to try to determine the ratio of the last person I want to sit next to, to the possibility of having an empty seat. It is amazing that the ratio is always 50 to 1 or more.

Yesterday I flew from MSP to Atlanta. The frumpy, bookish, all clad in black (but no leather) woman in front of me had a Wellstone! button on her purse. I figured chances were excellent she'd sit next to me but alas, I was seated between two stoic Norwegian types. They didn't say a thing. Great flight.

PS: Yesterday while in Atlanta, I heard nationally syndicated radio talk show host Glenn Beck. I don't know if he is on in Mpls or not because he is distributed by evil Clear Channel.

Anyway, while I was listening, Beck was talking about our soon to be Democratic Senate candidate/failed radio talk show host/former St. Louis Park bully boy/current Strib "Tiger Beat" special pull out heart throb Al Franken. Beck related a story about Al at the airport in Iowa right after the caucus'. Seems, no one was getting out because everyone was trying to get out. Beck says he was in line, when Franken strolled up to inquire about the possibilities of getting out. When the agent said he'd have to wait like everyone else, Al said (paraphrasing Beck here) "There must be some mechanism for someone like me to get out of here now!". Once again, the populist is made a man of the people.

That's our Al. I'm surprised he didn't play the John Kerry's favorite "Do you know who I am?" card.