I don't know why I even bother to read the Minneapolis Star Tribune. I steadfastly refuse to subscribe, but the reality of life in the Twin Cities dictates that one is never too far from someone who does. As a result, I invariably end up with the dreadful stain of the Strib's ink on my fingers and the accompanying stain on my ever darkening soul.
In the past, I have always been able to justify my foray into wickedness by forcefully stating that my only interest in picking up a copy was to peruse last night's box scores or to see how many Vikings players were arrested the previous evening. I always took some comfort in the fact that the sports section of our local rag seemed to be somewhat immune to the cancer that has spread throughout its pages via the poisoned minds of Jim Boyd, Nick Coleman, et al.
Alas, my rose-colored reverie has been brutally shattered by the publication of a sports piece so vapid and juvenile that a sound fisking would be both embarrassing to me and to the author. Instead, I merely present the column here, in its entirety, for your reading pleasure:
Documentary Film Sews Up His Vote
(Bryant McKinnie has developed into a cornerstone of the Vikings franchise. His personal interests range well beyond football, and he will share them with Star Tribune readers every Wednesday through the NFL season.)
I'm back practicing now after spraining my right knee two weeks ago. The doctors have given me an elastic sleeve to wear around the knee. It feels better with it on, mentally. It's like I've got security with it.
I sat out the team drills Monday, but I'll be back Wednesday doing everything. And you know I'll be ready for the Dallas game Sunday. The main guy I'm going to be going up against is Greg Ellis, No. 98. I'm going to watch tapes of his pass rushing moves this week so I can learn how he plays.
Enough with that stuff. I saw the movie "Fahrenheit 9/11" not too long ago. I'm a Democrat, but after going to see that movie, I don't think it should even be close who you're voting for. I know I definitely won't be voting for President Bush.
I was in Florida, going to school at Miami, when all the foolishness down there helped Bush get elected. I voted for Al Gore, but I don't even know if my vote counted. People tried to make it out like people in Florida are slow and didn't know how to vote. That wasn't it at all.
Before I saw the movie, I didn't know too much about all the issues that have come up since then. I thought it gave you a better opportunity to see what's going on. Some people say that the director, Michael Moore, might have exaggerated some of the things in the movie or left stuff out, but I still don't see how you couldn't be convinced by what was in it.
I was really concerned about what the movie said about Bush and the Bin Laden family, how they were each making money for the other. It's nothing but a big scam. They were hustling each other. That's why Bush isn't trying to go after him now. He went after Saddam Hussein, and he's got nothing to do with 9/11.
Seems to me you should get the guy who sent those guys over here to do the bombing. That's Bin Laden.
I just couldn't believe how the movie showed Bush already knew the Bin Laden family, and that he allowed them to fly out of the country after 9/11. If somebody's suspected for murder in this country, and the cops can't find you, they're going to go to your parents and question them. So why did Bush let Bin Laden's family out of the country? I think that was stupid.
My conclusion, after assaulting my eyeballs with the utter nonsense above, is that either Bryant McKinnie is a babbling moron or that Jim Boyd has been relegated to ghostwriting inane Vikings diary pieces. If it is the former, may the Vikings go 0-16 this year as punishment for subjecting readers to such tripe. If it is the latter, let me be the first to congratulate Mr. Boyd on finally finding his niche.
In either case, I think I'll resist the urge to pick up tomorrow's sports section.
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