I Am Somebody

From the Minnesota Daily, a first hand report from a fledgling journalist stepping onto the lip of the nurturing nest of academia and breathing the cruel, cold air of the real world:

I was in the [University of Minnesota] Athletics Communications office on Friday, squaring away some work-related things when Sid Hartman walked in. I laughed on the inside, as I'd heard about him making the rounds in the Bierman athletics building. While he was in an office, I sat down to talk with a friend of mine and another person who works in the office.

He walked by and got to the door, only to turn and look toward the three of us. "You can do better than that," he said to the other two people in the room while gesturing to me. "This guy's a nothing."

Apparently Sid didn't even know the lad to whom he directed this shot. Which makes this all the funnier.

I suspect Sid was joking, at least to some extent. Anyone familiar with his 60 year+ career in the local sports/entertainment business knows that is Sid's style. On his venerable WCCO radio show, disparagement and ridicule are the standard introductory banter for any guest who comes on. Soucheray has told the tale on-air of his first encounter Sid in the newsroom , which consisted of the elder scribe asking "hey [bleep]-head, how do you spell "music"? And I'm sure the venerable Craig Westover has a few tales to tell of when, believe it or not, he was Sid Hartman's copy boy. (Or was it cabana boy? I forget which.)

To a larger extent, this is how men joke with each other, disparagement humor being a primary form of initiation and validation of male dominated social institutions (at least since waterboarding has been outlawed by the Geneva Convention). And getting called out by Sid like this is really a badge of honor.

But I fear the modern, caring, therapeutic environment of college hasn't sufficiently prepared our young reporter for what happens when he gets a real job. His reaction to the Sid drive-by:

For one of the few times in my life, I was speechless. I didn't catch the whole insult because Hartman mumbles, but the "This guy's a nothing," I heard plain as day.

I sat there, dumbfounded, asking everyone, "Did he just call me a nothing?"

Look at the bright side, he didn't call you [bleep]-head!

Instead of tearing me down, why not build me up? Why not share his extensive knowledge and experiences with the next generations of sports reporters, who hope they can be around as long and be as recognized as him?

... after Friday's brief encounter, my opinion of him has changed. I wouldn't want to be considered the next Sid Hartman or anything like him.

I don't think there's much chance of him becoming the next Sid Hartman. The next Oprah Winfrey, maybe.