And It Don't Cost Nothin'

I get plenty of email asking for advice. What booze should I buy JB? Why shouldn't I marry a career woman JB? How can I be more like you JB? I do what I can, but cannot possibly answer all the inquiries.

But, I would like to advise on two simple advertising strategies for Republicans in the big MN campaigns this year.

Klobuchar/Kennedy: The key here is to label Plain Aim a Minneapolis liberal. The phrase has to be repeated over and over. "Minneapolis liberal Amy Klobuchar promised to put rapists behind jail, but..." Repeat the phrase over and over. Believe me, it has legs out-state.

Bachmann/Wetterling: The key here is showing Patty's face as much as possible, preferably right next to Michelle's. Bachmann is a fine-looking woman (*makes tiger noises*). Wetterling not so much (*holds up photo of John Denver*).

Never underestimate how people want to be affiliated with the good-looking of the world, even if it works on a subconscious level. You could even argue that women care more about another woman's looks than men do.

No need to thank me operatives. Republican victories in November will be enough.