The Bard of Hate Does Dallas

Garrison Keillor, the local Bard of Hate, took his speaking tour on the road to Dallas last week to address Highland Park Methodist Church and pimp his new book Hometown Smug Elitist Prick Democrat.

By all accounts, the event was without incident. People listened to what I'm sure was an engaging and interesting speech and then went about their lives.

But not the Bard. He went on to write in his column:

I got some insight last week into who supports torture when I went down to Dallas to speak at Highland Park Methodist Church. It was spooky. I walked in, was met by two burly security men with walkie-talkies, and within 10 minutes was told by three people that this was the Bushes' church and that it would be better if I didn't talk about politics.

But, according to the Rev. Paul Rasmussen, who organized the lecture this never happened:

Mr. Rasmussen is adamant that no one in an official capacity asked Mr. Keillor to censor his remarks. That, he said, would have run counter to the series' intent to present a variety of authors, subjects and viewpoints.

"I can tell you with absolute confidence that at no time was he asked not to talk on any topic," Mr. Rasmussen said.

He also said the two "burly security men" were a Highland Park policeman and the church's own security supervisor, both present because the agreement with Mr. Keillor's publisher specified that the venue provide security.

Then the Bard of hate switches to his other, equally disgusting personality, the King of Condescension:

So I tried to make light of it: I told the audience, "I don't need to talk politics. I have no need even to be interested in politics--I'm a citizen, I have plenty of money and my grandsons are at least 12 years away from being eligible for military service."

And the audience applauded! Those were their sentiments exactly. We've got ours, and who cares?

Maybe they "got" your juvenile sarcasm Garrison and were agreeing! Is it possible that some Dallas rubes understood your straight-faced irony? You have been in the public consciousness for some time now after all. It's not only the Mac/Groveland happy-to-raise-taxes-on-the-poor crowd that are smart and hip enough to understand you.

But that interpretation wouldn't fit the template of the Smarts vs. the Rubes as Keillor understands this country. A teenage psychodrama he will never grow out of.

UPDATE

Bert writes in to add:

It should be noted that it could be expected for W to have a church in
Midland, one in Crawford, and one in Austin, but Dallas is over an hour's
drive from all of these. I would personally doubt the story from when
Keillor claims "this is Bush's church". I could be wrong, but geography
argues against this claim.

More of Keillor's straw man is blasted apart.