Number One with a Bullet

Esteemed classicist Victor Davis Hanson on the American public education system and the ability of its graduates to put in perspective events such as Mark Foley emails and North Korean nuclear tests:

Or is the nuttiness because most Americans below 30 are now so poorly educated that they don't know, or care to know, the difference between Pyongyang and poontang?

If this line ever makes it into one of his scholarly tomes, I suspect the footnote would look something like this:

Nugent, Ted; "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" (Cat Scratch Fever, Epic/Legacy; 1977).

It has been a while since Ted Nugent had a song on the charts. And for the man who wrote the following timeless, universal lyrics:

Kiss my ass - Janet Reno
Kiss my ass - C'mon Billary
Kiss my ass - Callin' on Jesse Jackson
Kiss my ass - United Nations
Kiss my ass - All those Liberals

I don't think charges of jingoism, political opportunism, or basic idiocy will dissuade him from throwing his guitar into the works of current political events either. With that in mind I submit to Ted the following update of his romantic classic:

Wang Dang Sweet Pyongyang

That Kim Jong il, what a nuclear fiend
He ain't looking so clean, especially near the DMZ,
what I don't like

He come to town, he be foolin' around
and putting us down like a UN-sanctioned clown
It's all right

Wang Dang Sweet Pyongyang

Wang Dang what a sweet Pyongyang
a shakin our six party thang as a rang-a-dang-dang in the bell

It'll be so sweet when we yank on their teat (and shut off their wheat)
Down on the street you know we can't be beat
What the hell

Wang Dang Sweet Pyongyang

Thank you. Please, please sit down. We don't deserve the adulation. Really, we wrote this music for the children. It's all about them, not us.

(FYI - All forthcoming royalties should be distributed to VD Hanson and SP Ward. And watch out for our next song writing endeavor: It's Hard out Here for a Phalangite.)