Principle Versus Playboy

In response to this post, Mike e-mails to relate his own Playboy tale:

Around January or February of this year, after having been a subscriber to Playboy for 15 years, I concluded I could no longer financially support a magazine that is so incredibly off-mainstream views, politically speaking that is (I also cancelled the StarTribune three weeks ago).

I subscribed to Playboy mostly for the pictures but when my bathroom visits required more than five minutes, I often start perusing the articles. And sometime around mid 2004 I started threatening (at least to my guy friends) that I could no longer stand looking at pictures surrounded by such outlandish and offensive editorial. I tried just cutting out the pictures for awhile but they still felt dirty.

When the renewal solicitations started about six months after I last renewed for the next 12 months, I ignored them knowing full well that if necessary, I would take my threat of non-renewal all the way. Now it's important to explain at this point that I have a history of fighting the establishment and then crawling back with my tail between my legs. I cancelled my World Perks Visa that served me very well after learning that a co-worker didn't pay the $55 annual fee. He told me to threaten to cancel and they'll waive the fee if they feel I'm serious. They called my bluff and after two lousy credit cards later (one with a fee) I came crawling back, fee between my legs.

Anyway, I was prepared to lose my visual aids called Playboy, after all, the internet has lot's of free visual aids. So push came to shove and they threatened that this was my last issue and that I couldn't afford to miss an issue. I resisted their efforts. They had a telemarketing firm call. I told the guy I wanted a FREE DVD and wouldn't pay more than $19.99 annually. He couldn't give me on the DVD - his best offer was the price I agreed to plus two free pictorials. I was determined to get the live action only a DVD can provide.

Next I started getting calls around dinner time from sexy and young sounding girls (when a woman is on the phone that you have never met, you always imaging the best - I think they were naked). My wife balked at this initially until for appearance sake I put one of them into her place for calling during dinner (or at least I fantasized I did that).

Eventually I started getting letters from Hef himself. Now I had their attention! And they had mine. Not only did my subscription lapse for at least three months of my "last issue," I got a letter from the man himself. And his offer was not for another year of Playboy for $19.99 plus a DVD of naked girls frolicking in the pool, it was for another year of Playboy for $9.99 plus a DVD of naked girls frolicking in the pool - much better than I had even negotiated.

Needless to say, I couldn't turn down a direct solicitation from the man and finally renewed my subscription. I've stopped reading most of the editorial, and pretty much just look at pictures, read the old jokes and super slow-mo my DVD.

I too remember fondly looking at the Playboys of old. I used to think if you were ever invited to the mansion, you had "made it." The mystique left the building long before Bill Maher arrived.