Stations Of The Albatross
I just got back from POTC (here to be referred to at Potsy) and all I can say is that's two hours of my life I'll never get back.
Putting aside all the "anti-semitic" horse-hockey for a minute, it's simply a lousy, boring, over-wrought film. I felt absolutely nothing. Nothing. At one point I looked at my watch and an hour had passed with basically nothing happening. Sure, there was plenty of flashbacks and music that tried to bash you over the head with it's Majesty, but after that long I wanted them to get to the crucifyin' already.
At least an hour could have been taken out of the film and nothing would have been lost. But I guess you can't take something away from nothing, which is what the movie is.
And this idea that this is so gory and violent and "pornographic"? It's a lie. It was not even that nasty at all. I never whinced like I did in Saving Private Ryan or looked away for even a minute. I guess I would have had to feel something to make me look away.
Gibson is very into slo-mo. There is a slo-mo about every five minutes as he tries to force the viewer to Get It! I actually felt like I was carrying a cross--Mel Gibson's vision of what happened to Christ--and he was the one flogging me the entire time, laying upon me a crown of thorns, bashing me in the forehead so I Got It. Lay off ya heavy handed wank artist! I get it, okay?
On the positive side, Mary Magdalene had it goin' on. She is portrayed by the stunning Monica Bellucci.
Wow.
But did she make it worth the pain I had to endure just to get through this thing? Absolutely not.
Summary: awful movie, hot actress.
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