Tuesday, February 03, 2004

A Woman Scorned?

Previously on the Newspaper Newlyweds, Nick made a cold hearted accusation in the Star Tribune that Laura only married him for his extreme wealth and privilege. And this didn’t sit well with the missus. Today she responds from her own bully pulpit in the Pioneer Press. And it’s a doozy - upping the ante on embarrassing revelations on what might be going on behind closed doors at the house of Coleman-Billings. She deviously slips it into a column about tasteless Super Bowl advertisements:

So instead, we were treated to a near-constant barrage of all-American ads featuring farting horses, horny chimps, nagging wives, potty-mouthed children, two old people risking hip replacement surgery for a bag of chips and a whole lot of guys who need a pill to get it — um … to achieve tumescence. Here's a tip, guys: Go for a walk while the ads are on. Fighting impotence is all about improving circulation.

Yowza! This is the atom bomb of spousal accusations (and I think grounds for annulment in some Orthodox sects). As Nick is rapidly learning, Laura is not a woman to be trifled with in print. How will he respond in his column? With a mutually assured destruction revelation of his own, or by suing for peace on any terms possible? My guess is the latter, assuming a humiliated resignation isn’t offered first.

No comments:

Post a Comment