He's only human folks. And when he's cut, he bleeds.
This actually explains quite a bit. Yesterday I received a number of e-mails on the appearance of Hugh's teeth in his dazed and confused picture. A few readers suggested a fund raising drive to cover the costs of whitening. The most interesting theory I heard was that Hugh was actually a distant relative of Britain's Royal Family.
The truth of course was much simpler. He had a mouthful of blood. In fact he had to be given the once over by an oral surgeon to make sure there was no permanent damage (he's the fellow on the right).
Unfortunately, there is no video of the Saddam-like inspection of Hugh's oral cavity. Treated like a beast he was.
But he was a trooper and despite all he went through, Hugh remained chipper and kept a smile on his face. Either that or he was still in a state of delirious shock.
He still had to tie up some legal matters as he was forced to sign a statement agreeing to cover the costs of the damage to the sled. He also picked up a couple, thirteen, fourteen candy bars for the ride back to Denver.
But we have learned that Hugh's legal troubles are far from over. We obtained a copy of a writ, to be filed shortly with the state attorney general that seeks to revoke Hugh's titles in Minnesota because of his careless behavior in Colorado:
Whereas, on or about the thirteenth day of December in the year of the Lord 2003, one Hugh Hewitt, claiming entitlement under the authority of the State of Minnesota to the titles of Master of the Horse, Sheriff of Latin and Commissioner of Hockey, did travel to the far-off State of Colorado and while there did willfully, intentionally and with reckless abandon, operate a snow mobile in such a way as to do serious and intentional injury to a living member of mother earth’s, inhabitants, namely, a member of the conifer family of trees, and
Whereas, it is unlikely, improbable, nay, impossible for any true Minnesotan to lack the skills necessary to operate a snow mobile without injuring one of mother earth’s, inhabitants, namely, a member of the conifer family of trees,
And Whereas, in as much as he, although disputed in some quarters, was invested with the several listed honors of the State of Minnesota at the time of the injury to one of mother earth’s inhabitants, namely, a member of the conifer family of trees, the actions and misdeeds of one Hugh Hewitt in the far-off State of Colorado, as herein above described, have brought great shame and scandal to the State of Minnesota,
Now therefore, one Hugh Hewitt has forfeited any and all rights, privileges or accommodations that the aforementioned titles, although still being disputed in some quarters, may have entitled him to.
Developing...
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