Nice Magookins
What word in the English language has the most synonyms?
Roget, Merriam, and Webster may have their own learned opinions on this, but I’d be surprised if they could trump the astoundingly comprehensive list of one word in particular, compiled by National Review Online contributor John Bloom.
Given his affiliation with that fine publication, you’re probably thinking the word is “taxcuts” or “Clintonsucks.” But you’d be wrong.
Perhaps you’d come closer to the right guess if I told you that Mr. Bloom’s more well known journalistic alias is Joe Bob Briggs. Yes, the often times hilarious B-movie critic/historian and host of TNT’s “Monstervision” series of a few years ago, who revels in chronicling the subtle pleasures of movies such as “Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid” and “Femme Fontaine: Killer Babe for the CIA.”
Propriety prevents me from telling you the specific word, in all of its prurient glory. But maybe this short excerpt from Bloom’s list will be enough of a hint.
Bangles
Banzis
Baps
Barbeaus
Barnacles
Barnes and Noble
Basketballs
Bassoons
Batons
Baubles
Bazongas
Bazonkers
Bazookas
Bazoomas
Bazooms
Bazoombas
Clear enough for you? I’m sure all but the most chaste among you have probably guessed by now, the word in question is:
Chombalonies
Well, that’s one of the synonyms anyway. One I’ve never heard before. But I have heard of many on this list. In fact, I checked all the most obscure, scandalous, and goofy ones I’ve head over the years, and they’re all here. Which makes me think it is indeed comprehensive.
As such, Joe Bob’s Canonical “Hooter” List is a supreme accomplishment in the world of linguistics, the likes of which Noam Chomsky could only dream of . That is, if Noam Chomsky has time to dream of chachabingos, between all of that socialist revolution stuff infesting his subconscious. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why he’s so cranky all of the time.
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