Exclusive Breaking News
The southwestern field office of Fraters Libertas has a stunning exclusive report.
The lovely Atomizerette has agreed to be my bride.
Now, I know this announcement is going to disappoint my legions of female fans out there, especially those who have become infatuated with me due to my appearance on the prestigious “Studmuffins of Conservatism” list. To those women I can only say…Saint Paul and JB Doubtless are still available. I’ll admit that JB is a little rough around the edges, but Saint Paul loves cuddling, bubble baths and poetry plus he is quite skilled in the art of macramé, so he’d be a great catch for any one of you.
To the Elder, I’d like to say thanks for the suggestions, but I did it my own way. During our after dinner drinks at a local restaurant last Friday night, I excused myself from the table and hopped upon the rented white steed that was waiting for me in the parking lot. I trotted back into the restaurant upon my mount, approached the table, doffed my cap in which I had placed a 10 carat whopper of a ring and said “Would m’lady care to join me in the bond of Holy Matrimony?” While the gesture went over well with the lovely Atomizerette, I spent the next three hours cleaning the horse droppings off the carpet. Live and learn, I say.
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