Correct Answer: I Love You Just the Way You Are
Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Except in Bayport. And boy are they paying the price for it. As reported in the Stillwater Gazette:
Angel Starr Kaster, 27, will face charges for second-degree assault, terroristic threats, and giving false information to a police officer, Bayport Police Chief John Gannaway said Tuesday, December 16.
The reason for all of the mayhem in this leafy, charming little town, hard by the St. Croix river:
Kaster attacked [her boyfriend Greg] Knoll with four kitchen knives after he commented on her weight. When Kaster mentioned that she wanted to lose 10 pounds, Knoll suggested she lose 20 pounds. “That’s what did it,” he told police.
Maybe it was more than just Knoll’s honesty that caused his stabbing. As there does appear to have been some extenuating circumstances:
[Kaster] was transported to the Hastings Detoxification Center after a preliminary breath test registered her blood alcohol level at .271, Chief Gannaway said.
Or maybe she was just having a bad day in general, as evidenced by her comments when placing a post-stabbing call for help:
Kaster will be charged also Wednesday with making terroristic threats, authorities said, for allegedly telling the 9-1-1 dispatcher on the phone “I’ll kill you.”
Or maybe this dispatcher was making cracks about her weight as well, it’s hard to say. To be safe, I offer this unsolicited advice to Mr. Knoll. Next time your girlfriend asks “do I look fat in these jeans,” DO NOT answer by saying: “I hear Evel Knievel is considering using your ass for his next jump.”
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