Nick Coleman's knack (according to his employer) is making us laugh or making us cry. Not sure which category his most recent column fits into, but he’s decided excoriate my beloved city of St. Paul for charging a $5 fee in order to tour the Winter Carnival Ice Palace. In short, his problem is that homeless people won't be able to see it. Get your hankies and gut busting laugh muscles ready, because here's Nick's knack in action:
The $8 million ice palace that will wow free-spending visitors to the 2004 NHL All-Star Game during the St. Paul Winter Carnival is going up near the Xcel Energy Center. ...
Too bad the homeless won't appreciate the splendors of the ice palace. That's because the latest in a long line of palaces stretching back to the Winter Carnival's founding in 1886 will include a feature never seen before: A 10-foot-high perimeter wall to protect it from the prying eyes of the poor.
We can debate whether or not most poor have an extra five dollars to spend on this activity (or whether or not the "homeless" even want to see the Ice Palace, in place of taking time to abuse their substance of choice.) But what Nick fails to mention is that another set of prying eyes will be denied as well--the cheap. And as a member of that caucus, I'm going on record as saying Nick need not advocate on my behalf. First, I don't care that I won't be able to see it. Second, I'm afraid he'll write something as embarrassingly melodramatic and exploitative as this on my behalf:
One regular was a wounded Vietnam War veteran named Robin, an alcoholic who camped in the brush and woods around the edge of downtown St. Paul.
Last spring, police found Robin near the Cathedral of St. Paul, on the steps that overlook a panorama of downtown, dead from an apparent stroke. It would've been a perfect spot from which to see an ice castle.
Do you think Coleman's new editors at the Star Tribune still wince when they read his stuff, or has their tolerance already ramped up?
The fact that the Ice Palace is meant to promote the city in order to bring in more tourists and to show off in front of a national audience here to cover the 2004 NHL All Star game (all in hopes of bringing more money to the city) is not important to Nick. Neither is the fact that the last Ice Palace in 1992 was a financial boondoggle. Nor is the fact that financing of the Palace this year is being done in the most equitable manner possible - on a user fee basis. Apparently he'd like the government to pay for the entire thing instead, so everyone in the state can pay to allow homeless people to hobnob with the NHL fans and guests.
In Coleman's carefully chosen quote from a homeless fellow, I think he reveals his true feelings on the matter: "They got money for ice, but they don't got money for poor people."
A statement like this makes me think Coleman would like us to promote the city during the NHL All Star game weekend by giving tours of a homeless shelter instead. Scoff if you will, but Coleman's account of the goings-on at Listening House details many of the prospective features of such an idea:
Live music:
a 39-year-old with congestive heart failure named Mark, who was sitting in a chair, singing the Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses" to himself.
Staged dramatic readings of the Minnesota DFL platform:
"I could get five bucks, but not for no ice," [Mark] said. "That's what Minnesota is all about. It's a business town now. It's all about revenues."
Synchronized sitting exhibitions:
The idea of what is "public" is just one of many things that have been degraded since 1983, the year Listening House opened its doors, setting up two folding chairs so the homeless could take a load off.
A living exhibit of what the homeless apparently do while you're out working:
Some played chess, some worked crossword puzzles, some made phone calls (there's a five-minute limit for calls), some just relaxed. There was a pleasant hum to the place, like the lobby at the X during a hockey game.
It's probably too late to get this tour organized for the NHL All Star game, but this town always seems to be trying to land another Super Bowl. This could be the idea that puts them over the top. And Nick Coleman could write the brochure, which would end with his words:
Happily, Listening House, unlike the ice, will still be here next spring.
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