Fast Taps
Finally, there has been an improvement to beer that I can really get behind. The landscape is littered with half-baked, quarter-baked and completely un-baked ideas designed to improve the average beer drinker's swilling experience. We've seen light beer, dry beer, ice beer, clear beer, low-carb beer, "I Can't Believe It's Not Beer" with 100% less beer flavor and the ever popular Skittle Brau.
Well, hold on to your hats people because we now have "fast-pour" beer. Brewing giant Carlsberg-Tetley introduced a hydrocyclone system in February 2002 that allows draft beer to be poured at high speeds without excessive foam. This system effectively reduces the pour time of an average pint of beer from an inhumane 25 seconds to a much more reasonable span of about 14 seconds.
Not to be outdone, California based company Shurflo, together with Anheuser-Busch, has unveiled the Ultimate Draft System that can fill an imperial pint glass with beer in an amazing 2 seconds. According to the latest issue of Scientific American, the system was tested in Boston's Fenway Park and vendors were able to sell 2.4 more kegs per game than with conventional taps.
Despite the fact that the last thing this world needs is more drunken Red Sox fans, I throw my full support behind these much needed developments. Just think of all the things I could accomplish with all of those extra seconds I previously wasted waiting for my next beer. I could finish developing that cure for cancer I started back in my creative period. I could finally complete my work on the Grand Unified Theory of physics that Mr. Hawking has been pestering me about. I could continue in my attempts to mate a hamster with a lizard in order to create an unholy supercreature bent on upsetting the planet's entire eco-system.
On the other hand, another beer would be nice.
No comments:
Post a Comment