Fraters Libertas

Paula Zahn's Got Nothing On This

Great CMA awards last night. For those of you who own Velvet Underground records, it stands for the Country Music Association's award show. Once again, Vince Gill was incredibly entertaining and funny, quipping at one point that he had not eaten since September in order to look good for the cameras. Then during one segment he was snacking on a burrito.

Johnny Cash won big, which was more of a lifetime achievement thing than recognition of what he did during the year. When his children took the stage to accept his first award I first thought that the once-lovely Roseanne Cash had disintegrated horribly. I later found out it was her sister Kathy. Phew. Roseanne Cash in her Seven Year Ache era was one of the world's most beautiful women. John Carter Cash was noble with his comments and no doubt several tears were shed in the auditorium as he spoke of his father.

Perhaps the weirdest scene played out when the country boy band Rascal Flatts (which I often refer to as the Flat Rascals) won the award for Best Vocal Performance. As they took the mike to give their thanks, Joe Don (Joe is their leader) said "I want to give this award to the guys that made us want to do this" and pointed at Alabama, who had also been nominated.

The Alabama dudes looked pissed. "Come on up here!" said the pretty boy to guys who have been making successful country records for over twenty years. Randy Owens sat speechless in his chair looking like he wanted to kick the crap out of Joe Don. After realizing there was no way out of this situation than to deal with it, he and another 'bama went up to the stage.

Joe Don tried to give him the award, but he would not take it. The producers then quickly cut to a commercial. What the hell were these new upstart punks thinking? It was incredibly patronizing to offer this award to a band that has won plenty of their own, sold tens of millons of records and basically kicked country ass for years. It was as if Rascal Flatts were saying "Hey, old guys you can have a little of our success, since you don't have any of your own any more". The Rascals should hold on to that statue. They may not win another.

But, the best event of the night took place on the red carpet before the event.

More excitement was generated before the show on the red carpet, when Crow grabbed Twain's posterior. "Don't forget the other cheek," Twain quipped, further accentuating the evening's conciliatory tone.

Hot damn! Sheryl Crow grabbing Shania's considerable backside? I don't know if this was captured on TV, but one could almost hear the Paula Zahn sound effects reverberating around the nation.