Hugh Makes The Baby Jesus Cry
Lies, distortions, half truths, character assassinations, smears, and slanders? It's hard enough to deal with the daily barrage of dishonesty that comes from the left. But it's even worse when such prevaricating emanates from a source considered to be an ally. I say enough is enough.
And so I am announcing the launch of the Hewitt Untruthful Activities Committee or HUAC. The committee's mission is to expose the falsehoods and misrepresentations that spring on a regular basis from the mouth of talk radio host Hugh Hewitt. We are now accepting applications for charter members to the committee and expect to be swamped with responses. HUAC will issue reports on its findings at appropriate opportunities to keep the public informed. Down the road witnesses will be called to testify before HUAC, subpoenas issued, and if all goes according to plan, we'll even be able to put a blacklist together.
"Are you now or have you ever been a listener to the Hugh Hewitt talk radio show?"
The straw that broke that camel's back occurred last night on his national radio broadcast when Hugh stated that I was a thirty five year old single loser living with my Mom and that I needed to use the services of one of his sponsors ( eHarmony) to get a date. He didn't actually say loser but what other conclusion would the audience draw?
The truth is that I am married and live with my wife. I am thirty five so I guess Hugh did get one of the salient facts correct. Not bad for him. If this radio gig falls through for him he could probably get a job at the NY Times. Or even the LA Times if he doesn't want to leave the precious Golden State.
Hugh also asked female audience members to send in photos of themselves, along with their Hummels, in order to find a mate for me. While I really appreciate Hugh's desire to help, his efforts are obviously misplaced given my martial status. However, a couple of the other chaps here at Fraters are currently available (in fact we're pitching in at the office to get Saint Paul set up with e-Harmony for his Christmas gift this year) and I would be more than willing to screen the incoming pics to help find a suitable match. It's a tough job but someone has to do it.
Actually according to a story in today's Star Tribune the Twin Cities have become a something of a hot bed for young singles. But not all the young ladies who have relocated to the area have been able to find Mr. Right:
Not according to Tuttle, who came here from Kansas and would love to find just one guy like that. For a woman with a doctorate, she said, a lot of Minnesota men just don't quite cut it.
"I'm not an ice fishing/snowmobile babe," she said. "We need more 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' kinds of guys who know clothes and go to Solera, not Applebee's, and are one or two standard deviations above the norm."
I was going to ask JB Doubtless for his reaction to her comments but he was not available. After tuning up his snowmobile, adding more insulation to his ice house, and picking up a new flannel shirt at Fleet Farm, he was heading to Applebee's for lunch. Just a normal day for a normal Minnesota guy I guess.
If you're interested in becoming a member of HUAC drop me a line. It's time to start naming names.
By the way, my Halloween costume rocked despite Hugh's claims to the contrary. Those that can, create. Those that can't, jealously belittle.
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