Fraters Libertas

A Moment Of Clarity

In JB Doubtless' most recent post, he attributed a little homecoming prank to the Elder's high school class when the honor actually belongs to mine. It was a truly beautiful moment, I must say. The story, however, deserves a little background.

My freshman class (at a St. Louis Park Catholic high school which will remain unnamed) was deemed the worst freshman class ever by school officials. We were repeatedly summoned to "special assemblies" throughout our first year by the principal at which we were chastised roundly for having less than the required amount of school spirit. By the end of that year, several students had to be relieved of their school attending duties due to various violations of school policy, many of which could have resulted in short jail sentences. I lost a few friends that year.

Having successfully gotten rid of the baddest of the bad seeds, things began to go the administration's way in the following years. Several members of our class took the reins and steered those who would follow onto the path of the good and the righteous. Some of us (myself and Man From Silver Mountain, to name two) did not appreciate being so led and by our senior year (maybe junior year, the memories are foggy) had seen enough.

Around about homecoming time, a plot was hatched (by whom I can no longer remember) to unseat the self appointed leader of the "good" side of the Class of '85 (a total wanker to this day, I'm told) who was a virtual lock to win the coveted homecoming king title. The plan was to install our own king through a covert grassroots effort. We picked one of the most unpopular and homely guys in our class and staged a massive write-in campaign. To our complete and utter amazement, our candidate won. (The similarities between this election and the 1998 race for Governor of Minnesota have just now struck me as eerily similar.)

In retrospect, it was a cruel thing to do to the sacrificial lamb who won. But we never meant to slight this poor guy. We just wanted to stick it to the lousy chucklehead who took it upon himself to try and redefine OUR class. We were the class of losers. We were the class of miscreants and reprobates. We never attended the football games, we didn't give a rip where our school's soccer team placed in the state tournament and we didn't care for the sons-of-bitches who did! We were the Class of '85 and no letter jacket wearing, soccer playing, class president pretty boy was going to represent US at the homecoming dance!

Now that I think about it, I skipped that dance. I was on a pontoon boat on Lake Minnetonka that night with a bunch of buddies and a few cases of beer trying to avoid the police. Meh...it's just as well. I was never much of a dancer.