Don't Turn Around...
Shhhh....Be vewe vewe quiet. I'm hiding. Our company's United Way kommissars are after me. What? You don't know of the United Way kommissars? Consider yourself lucky. Vewe lucky.
The company that I work for has a United Way fundraising drive every fall and while participation is not mandatory, it is highly encouraged (wink wink, nudge nudge, Billy club pat Billy club pat). Employees are pushed and prodded to participate through a combination of guilt and peer pressure. Even if you don't want to contribute you still have to sign and turn in a form which probably goes in your permanent record. I have become a United Way refusenik and every year I wage a lonely battle against my well intentioned oppressors.
Now I don't have a big problem with the United Way. A few of the programs they support are questionable in my mind and they probably spend too much money on overhead but generally they do good work. Yesterday we had a speaker from a local non-profit that is funded by the United Way called Twin Cities RISE! (no it's not Mark Gisleson's newest revolutionary career services firm) and it sounds like an organization that deserves support. But if I want to donate to it I'll do it on my own time thank you very much.
For me charity begins and ends at home. It's part of the whole Chinese wall separation of work and personal life that I like to maintain. And I don't have a problem finding plenty of worthy charities to support. I'm not a philanthropist by any means although that could be an interesting gig
( I think I could be a philanthropist. a kick ass philanthropist! I would have all this money, and people would love me. Then they would come to me.. and beg! And if I felt like it, I would help them out. And then they would owe me big time! (Thinking to himself) .. First thing I'm gonna need is a driver.. ).
But I feel like I do okay with my charitable donations and I don't need the benevolent hand of my employer reaching into my paycheck every two weeks to do my alms giving for me.
Gotta go. They're getting closer. I can feel 'em. I need to hide. I wonder if I could get a bed built under my desk. Maybe a little drawer or two...
