Fraters Libertas

Taking The Fight To Their Back Yard

Over the last few days I've been flooded with e-mails from concerned Minnesotans afraid that my proposal to cede portions of Minnesota to the Dakotas and Iowa would leave them out in the cold (literally). T.A. suggests that instead of pulling back Minnesotans should instead go on the offensive to counteract the growing Dakotan menace:

I'm in favor of breaking ties with North Dakota, but I live in Moorhead and you can't just leave us flapping in the breeze miles from the lifeblood of the land of 10,000 lakes.

I would propose a Minnesotan occupation of North Dakota. Really it wouldn't be that hard to outnumber them. Once you take Fargo, you pretty much have the state population taken care of. You would only need a few thousand
strategically placed Minnesotans in counties around ND to control the state senate.

Fargo's current population of 90,000 makes it pretty easy for a city like Minneapolis to take over. With a population of 382,600 people, Minneapolis has 50,000 people to send up to Fargo. (Conservatives please, we don't like them weirdo liberals up here. Our Democrats are more conservative than most Republicans.) We could spare a few from Moorhead, and many of us already have deep cover and employment in the city.

Hell, Minneapolis itself has half the population of the ENTIRE STATE of North Dakota which is currently at 634,110 and most of them are over age 65! Minnesota could take over within a few years as the Dakotans die off.
North Dakotans are blithering idiots for hometown boys done good, so James Lileks would be the perfect leader for such a takeover. I think his blood has more Minnesotan in it than you think. He's from Fargo, and Fargo has never
REALLY been part of North Dakota anyway... it' s like it's in limbo, the City without a State. So being from Fargo does not make one a North Dakotan, it makes them a Fargoan.

Turn the whole thing into a giant wind farm and use the lignite to power the habitable regions of Minnesota. Be a good location for more nuke plants too, no population to complain about the proximity to the plant. I will wait for the civilian troops to amass on the border at Moorhead.

Not a bad idea T.A. Lileks appears to have all the necessary qualities to make a great Quisling. But you might have a tough time finding 50,000 conservatives in Minneapolis proper.

Meanwhile Mitch Berg at Shot In The Dark continues to beat the Dakotan war drums (do they count as one the instruments he gets around on?) with increasingly belligerent rhetoric and threatens to unleash an army of psychotic plumbers upon our fair state. (In the interests of fairness and openness it should be noted that Mitch once belonged to a radical separatist group in college known as L.E.F.S.A. (Lutheran Expansion Front Student Army) whose motto was "For Dakota all, outside Dakota nothing". )