Fraters Libertas

Tonight There's Gonna Be Trouble

I guess you could call me more optimistic than my cohort, the Elder, but I believe that tonight is the Minneapolis area's next best chance for a truly stupid and pointless sports fueled riot.

This weekend finds us with a Twins team that has been mercifully eliminated from post season play, a Vikings team that's on an improbable roll but enjoying an ill timed week off and it's way too early to start caring about the T'Wolves and the skating W's. So what's a rambunctious Minnesota sports fan to do? The choice is obvious as the 6-0 University of Minnesota Golden Gopher football squad hosts the hated Michigan Wolverines at the Metrodome tonight.

The way I see it, all signs point to a riot regardless of the outcome. If the Gophers escape with a victory, it will be the first time since 1986 that they will possess the Little Brown Jug. In fact, they have only beaten Michigan twice in my entire lifetime. That's quite a streak and, to add fuel to the fire, the game starts at 7:00 PM, which will allow all attendees to get good and liquored up before kickoff. That's reason enough for some mindless mayhem.

I also foresee the same result if the Gophers lose. In true Minnesota fashion, the loss will never be blamed on the local team's performance on the field. Instead, the setback will be pinned on the referees. It's inevitable that one of the officials will make a controversial call that, in every local fan's mind, will cost the Gophers the game. This, combined with the aforementioned liquoring up of the masses, will result in some exceptional ultra violence.

The upshot of all this is that if you find your car parked in the vicinity of 6th and Chicago in downtown Minneapolis at around 10:00 PM this evening, you had better be damn sure that your insurance is paid up.

UPDATE:
It's looks like the police are as wary of a disturbance tonight as I am. The following is an excerpt from a letter that the Minnesota Student Association and the Graduate and Professional Student Assembly sent to fellow University of Minnesota students:

The University of Minnesota Police Department is going to have extra officers on duty Friday night, and they're going to get help from the Hennepin County Sheriff's Department and other agencies.

They'll also have teams of people with video cameras, along with officers on some building rooftops to keep an eye on campus.

Drunken college students are not known for respecting authority. Let's hope they do tonight, or things could get mighty ugly mighty quickly.