Fraters Libertas

Fighting Al Franken

The news yesterday of Al Franken physically attacking a counter demonstrator at a Howard Dean rally didn’t surprise me. Despite the fact he’s a little runt (or maybe because of this fact), he thinks of himself as a tough guy. That may seem shocking to you, but it's true. And I can see where his social circle might lead him to this conclusion. No doubt hanging out with Eric Alterman and Garrison Keilor would make Richard Simmons feel like a hard ass.

But not only does Franken believe himself to be a tough guy, he’s eager to brag about it. And occasionally he’s willing to prove it - but only with selected, weaker opponents. This, of course, is the clinical definition of a bully.

A few examples of his condition. First the big talk. Below is an excerpt from a PBS interview where he’s characterizing his infamous argument with Bill O’Reilly at some book fair this past summer. I saw the incident, twice on CSPAN, and it was a rout for O’Reilly. Franken was mindlessly blustering and flailing about so much that even co-panelist Molly Ivins had to distance herself from his performance. But then months after the incident, here’s what the little pugilist had to say about it:

And O'Reilly with me was like, it was like he's beating up kids on the playground, on this lawsuit, and then I come over and punch him in the nose and he "runs to the teacher and wants to sue, sue them. Sue them!"

Franken not only lies about the nature and result of his confrontation, he then projects his exact disposition (that is frenzied, whining bluster) onto O’Reilly. It’s like dealing with a 10 year old.

Then there are the highly selective instances where Al has chosen to act out on his ambitions to be a bruiser. A good example is his sneak attack at the Dean rally. The NY Post article initially described it as:

Al Franken yesterday body-slammed a demonstrator to the ground after the man tried to shout down Gov. Howard Dean.

But later on, Franken himself describes it as:

"I got down low and took his legs out," said Franken afterwards.

And then the Post re-characterizes it as:

Franken emerged from the crowd and charged one male protester, grabbing him with a bear hug from behind and slamming him onto the floor.

A bit of an incongruity there, either he bear hugged him or dropped down and took his legs out. But either way, it wasn’t a body slam - and either way it was from behind. So, Franken sneaked up on a guy and hit him with the wrestling equivalent of a sucker punch. Then relied on the crowd and police to break it up before retaliation could occur.

My guess is that Franken also picked out the weakest looking member of the protesting group on which to work out his Napoleonic complex. The reason I say this is because of the most infamous display of Frankensian machismo - his harassment of NRO’s Rich Lowry. If you don’t know the story, Franken was thinking of stunts to include in order to fill up his Lying Liars book. He then apparently saw Rich Lowry on CSPAN saying that Democrats have “feminized” American politics (which is of course true, except for the contributions of Molly Ivins).

So Franken decided to call Lowry and challenge him to a fist fight. I guess Al’s typically shallow point was that anyone who would presume to condemn feminization should also be willing to resort to violence at the slightest provocation. Being a responsible journalist, of course Lowry demurred. But here’s how Franken characterized it:

Sizing Lowry up on TV, he seemed just a tad on the wimpy side, which had only been confirmed by his reaction: terrified. I was just a decent high school wrestler, but I was convinced I could take him down, then basically punch his ears till he called “uncle.”

Even after Franken and Lowry had a rapprochement dinner, he felt the need to assert his dominance as follows:

But I’ll tell you this. I’ve seen Rich Lowry on television plenty of times since then, and I think he’s dropped the whole “Democrats have feminized politics” thing. But, if he hasn’t, I’ll be glad to meet him any time in my parking garage.

The man is ridiculous. But that doesn’t get Lowry off the hook either. He may be appear to be and sound like he is a wimp (as Hugh Hewitt listeners can attest). But the one and only rule of conservative commentary is, when Al Franken challenges you to a fight, you fight Al Franken. Even in a humiliating loss to the guy, you at least get a few licks in and make the bully think twice about challenging you again.

Or challenging anyone else. Because I think Franken will keep up this nonsense until he gets his comeuppance. One of these days he’s going to challenge the wrong person and get his tail kicked. My best guess for the tail kicker in question - this guy.