A Governor Gone Mad
Today's letters to the editor section of the Minneapolis StarTribune contains this terrifying tale:
Thanks, Gov. Tim Pawlenty, for the enjoyable ride to work Monday. I couldn't tell the freeway from the side streets because of all the snow on the roads!
Mary C., Eagan
It's true. Governor Pawlenty is so mad with power that he has staged a coup on Mother Nature herself and he now enjoys unfettered dominion over the weather. I saw him myself, I did. He was perched upon the tallest tower of the Winter Carnival Ice Palace with a jewel encrusted wizard cap atop his head. His arms were raised towards the heavens as lightning bolts leapt from his black fingertips. "Snow!" he commanded. "Bring forth towering piles of ice crystals upon the streets of Eagan!"
And oh, how it snowed. Three, maybe four full inches by sunrise. And the residents of Eagan wept, but none so loudly as Mary. Her commute was ruined by the unseasonable January snowfall. She was completely caught by surprise despite the fact that word of the Governor's impending assault upon the contryside had leaked out early Sunday morning. Still, Mary wept.
Be still, my child, for I give to you this link. It is a link that will enlighten you. It is a link that may save your tears. It is a link that will apprise you of the Governor's next nefarious plan to ruin yet another balmy January morning with those cursed flakes of doom. It is your salvation, Mary. Use it wisely, but do...please...use it, or I'm afraid that the Governor, in his unending quest for power, will emerge forever victorious.
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