Fraters Libertas

Thanks for the Memories

Actress and liberal activist Jessica Lange is a Minnesota resident, living in the city where I work - Stillwater. I’ve always considered that a point of pride, one that I never fail to impress people with at cocktail parties. But now it looks like I’m going to have to come up with some new material, since this remote connection with fame is about to elude me. According to the Pioneer Press, Minnesota just isn’t doing it for her anymore:

Lange says she realizes now that she returned to the state in 1995 so she could spend more time with her mother, who died in 1997. Now, however, Lange told the magazine: "I'm ready to move back to New York," adding that she'll wait until her youngest child graduates from high school. "This is a nice place to raise children. But there's no reason for me to be here anymore.".

Ouch! No reason to stay!? How can she say that about her home state? The place that nurtured her and loved her for so long. But now that she’s raised her kids in this nice place and used us for what she could, she’s gone? How’s this for a reason to stay - we still need her income taxes to help maintain the high levels of education and social spending she’s enjoyed the past few years. Come on Jessica - what would Wellstone do?

No reason to stay? Is she forgetting about all the great people she met over the years? And that includes me - sort of. A few years back, I encountered her at a Stillwater grocery grocery store/deli. It was during the lunch rush and I was shuffling up to the counter to get my ham sammich and chips rung up. Then I remember getting jarred out of my work-a-day haze by the woman standing in front of me in line. My first thought was, ‘why is that woman wearing sunglasses indoors’? Second thought was, ‘my god those are some REALLY expensive sun glasses’. Third thought was, ‘my god, that is a gorgeous, older woman.’

She was stunning and dressed as a perfect country girl dream, with scuffed black cowboy boots, blue jean jacket, tight blue jeans and golden blond highlighted, Belgian wildflower smelling hair. I didn’t make her as Jessica Lange right away but I did notice that everyone else in the store was watching her and kind of standing back at a respectful distance. Then I noticed the clerks beaming and kowtowing to her. At that point I suspected I had a celebrity in front of me. I sized her up again, confirmed it wasn’t the most likely suspect (Sen. Michelle Bachman) and then it hit me. I was in the presence of the woman I had my first crush on - as a seven year old boy watching the brilliant remake of King Kong. (Look at these pictures and tell me I don’t know my stuff, even back then. Here’s a more recent picture of Ms. Lange, approximating what she looked like in the deli.)

The experience was all too fleeting, but we did make eye contact (at least through her polarized lenses). Right before she left, for some reason she looked over her shoulder to scan the assembled rabble. And there I was right behind her. Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump.

I’d like to say it was a magical moment, but I can’t. Instead, it was a class conscious moment - as in she had it and I didn’t. I’ve never felt the distinction between the rich and beautiful peopls vs. guys like me to a stronger degree as at that moment. She was Jessica Lange, looking like Jessica Lange. And there I was, glassy-eyed, slack jawed, wearing Dockers, holding a ham sandwich and bag of Funyons.

I wonder now, all these years later, was that the moment she decided this state held nothing for her? She saw the kind of people who inhabited her realm and said to herself: ‘there’s no reason for me to be here.’

If that is the reason, she at least has the grace not to mention it to the national press. As quoted in the Pioneer Press:

Perhaps Lange's decision involves more than an anticipated empty nest — More magazine also reported that: "Then comes a string of anecdotes about what it's like to tool around in rural Minnesota with a 'No War in Iraq' bumper sticker on her car. 'I had my tires slashed,' " the star told the magazine. " 'I'm being totally serious.”

I feel much better, turns out Minnesota is just too conservative for her. That sounds entirely plausible (notice - she's totally serious).