Dewey Defeats Truman

Breaking news on the Hennepin County District 5 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor race. Earlier this week we reported gay divorce pioneer, the QueerLawyer.com, Jonathan M. Burris, was victorious over both Fraters Libertas endorsee Michael Wyatt and global hemp supporter Kevin Rodewald.

With the late precincts finally reporting in, we are forced to reverse our call and now report Michael Wyatt is the winner.

Rest assured, we don't take this degree of inaccuracy lightly. Letting a bogus election report hang out there and fester in the minds of our readers for a week after the polls closed does not meet our standards (which require accuracy within 6 days of the event). In the spirit of accountability we're prepared to place the blame precisely where it lies. And that's with Zogby and the Star Tribune, on whom we modeled our exit polling techniques and ethical code.

But, the good news is Wyatt's victory makes a clean sweep for the original slate of Fraters Libertas Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor endorsees. Well done, folks. But we must remind Michael Wyatt that although he received a strong plurality of 39% of the vote, a mandate he has not. And he must look to his vanquished opponents for direction in his governance. To paraphrase the Star Tribune's advice to President Bush:

This [Soil and Water Conservation District] badly needs someone who can appeal to a broad cross-section of the electorate. A uniter takes into account opinions and sensibilities other than his own. In his second term, we hope the people of [Hennepin County District 5] -- all of them -- get that from their [Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor].

That's right Mr. Wyatt. Next time an important soil and/or water conservation issue crosses your desk (or picnic table or floating TV tray or whatever you guys use), we urge you to consider: what would a pioneer gay divorce attorney and a global hemp supporter do at a time like this? John Kerry would do nothing less.