From today's Minneapolis Star and Sickle comes this very disturbing story:
Passion turned to agony early Wednesday morning when a 43-year-old St. Paul woman locked in a kiss with her boyfriend bit off an inch and a half of the man's tongue, according to police.
The woman, who told police that she has been victimized by men in the past, said she became frightened when her 47-year-old boyfriend squeezed her too tightly as they were kissing at her home in St. Paul.
"I guess I bit down too hard," police said the woman told them after the incident.
She "bit down" too hard? Why...in God's name...was this woman biting down in the first place? She's, presumably, supposed to be enjoying a tender moment with an intimate friend and, instead, she treats the man's tongue like a piece of overdone meat at the Ponderosa.
To say this woman has issues is to cheapen the definition of issues.
Reading on, we find that:
The victim, also from St. Paul, walked with the woman from her home in the 400 block of Edmund Av.
They went to a fast food restaurant in the 300 block of W. University Avenue to call police about 3:10 a.m.
If all I had to eat was a bit of human tongue, I'd head to the nearest Taco Bell for a chalupa myself. If I had suddenly found myself without a tongue, however, I do believe that a quiet stroll with the new owner of said tongue would be the last thing on my mind!
It doesn't end there, my friends. Here's the clincher:
After talking with the couple, officers returned to her home to look for the tongue, but they couldn't find it, police said.
The woman, who had been drinking with her boyfriend, told police that she doesn't remember what happened to the end of his tongue, which police estimate measured about 1.5 inches.
Police say the woman might have swallowed it.
I'm...simply speechless.
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