Prima Donna Alert

Sports writer Jeff Pearlman, of Sports Illustrated, had this to say about the nature of sports talk radio:

It started in Baltimore. Or was it Nashville? I am unsure because, quite frankly, my brain has morphed into a bowl of watery mashed potatoes. That's understandable because over the past six weeks I have exposed it to a toxic influence a million times more potent than crack, LSD, Twinkie goo and Menudo combined.

I should not complain. It was my idea to write a book, and I knew I'd have to promote the damn thing. But when the PR department at HarperCollins presented me with a list of, oh, 80 sports-talk radio interviews, the impending doom made me crank up Hall & Oates real loud. To any scribe with half a brain, sports talk radio is Satan's spawn. It's the home to people nicknamed Mad Dog and Boss and Big Boy; men who believe communication is a synonym for "Scream your head off at the guy from Urbana who thinks the Cubs could actually trade Glendon Rusch for Albert Pujols." Talk radio is generally logic-free. There is little reporting involved. Sports talk hosts usually open the morning newspaper to get their information then pass it on.

Oh, talk radio hosts aren't working hard enough for him? Harsh criticism coming from a sports writer, a profession employing some of the laziest human beings on Earth (Soucheray, Barreiro, Sansevere).

His main complaint is that radio hosts don't read his book before having him on. I can understand his frustration with that a little bit. It would be nice for the interviewer to be familiar enough with the subject matter to ask good questions. (For an example of proper technique, listen to Powerline's Scott Johnson and his insightful interviews with authors every Saturday at 1:00 PM on Northern Alliance Radio, broadcast on AM 1280, the Patriot).

But jeez Louise, this Pearlman thinks so highly of himself (he's a "scribe with half a brain") and demands such rapt attention to his work, yet his book is a historical account of ..... the 1986 New York Mets. Subtitle of his book:

A Season of Brawling, Boozing, Bimbo-chasing, and Championship Baseball with Straw, Doc, Mookie, Nails, The Kid, and the Rest of the 1986 Mets

Cold reality check--outside of those living in Queens, nobody in their right mind (which, come to think of it, excludes those living in Queens) has any interest in reading about this boring, meaningless topic. Not even talk radio hosts want to read it. And the only thing that proves about their intelligence is that they have some.

As opposed to the typical NARN featured author (prominent writers, attempting to educate or influence policy), obscure authors writing fluff about pop culture are lucky to get on the radio at all. Pearlman's attempting to sell a product, nothing more. Any station that puts him on is doing him a favor. Given his ingratitude, it's a favor that will not be extended by 1280 AM any time soon. (With this ban, there goes his sales in the greater Eagan metropolitan area. Take that Pearlman!)

This week's featured NARN author interview will be Karl Zinsmeister. He's the author of the modern military classic "Boots on the Ground: A Month With The 82nd Airborne In The Battle For Iraq" and most recently "Dawn over Baghdad: How the U.S. Military Is Using Bullets and Ballots to Remake Iraq".

So tune in on Saturday, it should be outstanding stuff. Granted, it's not going to be brawling, boozing, and bimbo chasing. But if that's what you're looking for, you can always tune into the Patriot at 11 AM for Rabuse on the Right. (You think you know
boozing, brawling, and bimbo chasing?)